Outsiders Celebrity Jeopardy!
by Emily the Walrus
Summary: I saw an old SNL sketch and decided to do this! First chapter Dallas, Ponyboy, and Sean Connery! R&R
1. Ponyboy, Dallas, and Sean Connery!

**I got really super bored and decided to do this. Its based on the SNL skits**

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><p>Alex:Welcome back to Jeopardy. Lets see what our contestants have. *walks over to Ponyboy* Ponyboy Curtis is in last place with -$1,555...<p>

Ponyboy:Nature's first green is gold! *sobs crazily*

Alex:You stupid dumbass. Okay Sean Connery is in 2nd place, surprisingly with -$209...

Sean:Funny, that's how much I paid your mother for last night, Trebeck.

Alex:I hope you burn in hell. And Dallas Winston is in 1st with a penny. There isn't even cents in this game but I don't care. Its a wonder that he has that!

Dallas:Fuck you, Trebek.

Sean:More like, fuck his mother.

Alex:I wish I was dead. So the categories are:Hobo jobs, the letter r, the color of oranges, a blank category, cereal, and Sean Connery. God help us, Dallas Winston, you start.

Dallas:I pass!

Alex:There is no passing in Jeopardy!

Dallas:*grabs his shirt*Let me pass or I'll cut off your balls!

Alex:*sigh*Fine. Sean Connery, choose.

Sean:I'll take Ho boobs for $400

Alex:Sean Connery, that says Hobo jobs. The question is, what job does a hobo have?

*Ponyboy buzzes in*

Alex:Ponyboy?

Ponyboy:Johnny killed Bob! *falls to the ground*

Alex:*sigh* Anyone else?

*silence*

Alex:Sean Connery choose another.

Sean:I'll choose your mother, Trebek.

Alex:Not a category. Ponyboy choose now.

Ponyboy:Darry!

Alex:*sigh* I'll choose. I know Dallas won't either so the color of oranges for $400. Thats your question. The color of oranges.

*Sean buzzes in*

Alex:Sean Connery?

Sean:The same color as your mother's face from last night.

*Ponyboy buzzes in*

Ponyboy:Gold! Johnny said stay gold! Oranges are gold! *goes on a big rampage*

*Dallas buzzes in*

Dallas:The same color as you will be in 5 seconds!

Sean:Good one.

Alex:Fine. You know what? We're going to Final Jeopardy. I don't care. I hate this place! *looks at card* Presidents-no *rips up card* Here's your question. Write down your favorite food! You can't possibly get this wrong!

*music plays*

Alex:Any food ever known...it could be people if you like to eat people. You all seem like cannibals.

*music stops*

Alex:Ponyboy

*Ponyboy shows:Two Bit*

Alex:I can't believe it...does that count? Yes? Okay what did you wager?

*likes mickey mouse*

Alex:*sighs* Nevermind...Dallas? Dallas? Where are you?

*Dallas walks in with a dead guy's hand*

Alex:Did you even write anything...and who's hand is that?

Dalas:I don't wager and this is Steve's hand.

Ponyboy:*sobs* Soda's best friend!

Alex:Sean Connery, please tell me you wrote something.

*Hamburger*

Alex:Oh my God...a correct answer! Good job, Sean. Now, lets see what you wagered! This is a first!

*your mother's ass*

Alex:It was too good to be true.

Sean:That's what I said after last night.

Alex:*sigh*That's all the time we have tonight. Now, tune in tomorrow if I don't kill myself. Good night.

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><p><strong>Who do you wanna see with Sean next chapter?<strong>


	2. Cherry, Two Bit and Sean:

**I don't own a thing still...**

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><p>Alex:Welcome again to Jeopardy. Today's contestants are last weeks winner, Sean Connery...<p>

Sean:You forgot your mother's bra, Trebek. *holds up bra*

Alex:Not even going to ask...Cherry Valance...

Cherry:*seductivley* Hi, Alex. *waves creepily*

Alex:*sigh*Might need a lawsuit _again_..and Two Bit Matthews. . .

Two Bit:MICKEY!

Alex:You asses get stupider and stupider every episode. Here's your categories...The letter after q, Alex Trebeck, appetite, countries that begin with chin, Greasers, and what's that smell. Sean, since you came back, you go first...

Sean:Ape tits for $200 **AN:I got this one from the show :)**

Alex:Sean Connery, that says Appetite.

Sean:You're just upset because your mother has ape tits!

Alex:Shut up...the question is-

*Cherry buzzes*

Cherry:Gorilla!

Alex:Again, it says Apetite not Ape tits! Sean, new category.

Sean:Alex Trebek.

Alex:For how much?

Sean:Hmmmmmm how much did I think your mother was worth? I'll just go with 200.

Alex:*sigh*What game show does Alex Trebek host?

Cherry*buzzes*

Alex:Skank- I mean, Miss Valance?

Cherry:Hot Guys Gone Wild

Alex:*sighs* No. That's not even a show. . .maybe in your mind it is, but not really. . . does anyone have a gu-

Cherry:*interupts*Does this mean I can strip tease now? *smiles evilly*

Alex:*eyes go wide* _No! _Who told you that you could, you firecrotched bimbo?

Cherry:Two Bit.

Two Bit:*waves to camera* Hi, Mommy! And I only told Cherry that because she's secretly Minnie Mouse *grins slyly* That'll be a show to see!

Cherry:*scoffs* I am not some _rat!_

Two Bit:*jumps on to podium and points angrily at Cherry* YOU! YOU SHUT YOUR _**MOUTH **_ABOUT MINNIE YOU FUCKING HOE MOUTHED LESBO!

Alex:WILL YOU TWO ASSWIPES SHUT UP?

*everyone gets quiet*

Alex:Good. . .now, lets go back to the game before I shoot everyone here. Anyone else besides Miss Valance have a guess on the show I host?

*Sean buzzed in*

Alex:Mr. Connery?

Sean:How To Wipe Your Mother's Ass

Alex:No, Mr. Connery. . .am I dead yet?. . .Two Bit? Do you have a slight idea?

Two Bit:*sobs* No!

Alex:Why the hell are you crying, you greasy faced icitope?

Two:That red headed hoe bag talked about Minnie!

*Alex face palms*

Alex:Someone. . . just. . . kill. . . me. . .

*everyone else blinks*

Sean:Now, Trebek, don't get suicudal on us. . .

Alex:Wow, Sean, that's the nicest-

Sean:If you do, your mother won't have a fuck buddy anymore.

Alex:-thing you've ever said to me. *sigh* Nevermind. Why don't we just skip to Final Jeopardy? *rips up some cards* I can't take you fatass fudge bags any longer. I think you're killing me with stupidity. Final Jeopardy question is: Name a Color.

*music begins playing and everyone begins to write*

Alex:It can be any stupid color in the world. . . hell, if you scribble something, I'll take it. Anything goes at the moment. Anything from a gorilla getting a blow job to an AIDS infected Howard Stern raping Justin Bieber. I'll take that as a color.

*Two Bit starts scribbling hard as if he's panicking*

*Cherry starts dancing a little*

*Sean looks sleepy*

*music stops*

Alex:Okay, Lindsay Lohan, what do you have?

*Call Me*

Alex:You said. . . Call me? I want to hit you so much. . And you bet?

*Maybe*

Cherry:Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so call me maybe!

Alex:Now I really want a gun. . . Two Bit?

*Two Bit has nothing actually down. . . just some dots and a cracked screen*

Alex:*blink* What-what the hell did you do?

Two Bit:YOU RUSHED ME THAT'S WHAT! *gets in fetal position on the ground and sings* M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E...

Alex:Whatever. . .Sean, please tell me you wrote something and had an actual wager.

Sean:*snores then wakes up* Huh wha? Sorry, Trebek. I didn't write anything. I was thinking of your mother again *smirks*

Alex:*slams head on table* Well, no one won. . .but since I have nothing better to do, you all get a sticker for trying. *gives each a sticker*

Two Bit:*slams fist on podium* I WANT A MICKEY STICKER!

Cherry:MY STICKER IS UGLY!

Sean:*eats his sticker*

Alex:*sighs* I don't care, okay? I'm leaving! *looks at camera* I'm sorry you all had to watch this. Hopefully. . *sigh* tomorrow will go better. I won't be surprised if you don't even watch tomorrow. . .I'll be surpirsed if I'm still alive. Good night. *Alex stomps off set while the contestants scream at each other*

*audience reluctantly claps*

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><p><strong>Hope ya liked! :) Sprry I didn't put this up soon enough but I was really busy and stuff :p Next week is Darry, Steve and YOUR CHOICE!<strong>

**DO YOU WANT**

**Sean again?**

**Cherry again? **

**or Two Bit again?**

**Tell me in your review please:)**


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